I had originally planned for this blog entry to simply read: “I did nothing today.” Indeed, I took a break from day-tripping around the country, choosing instead to make this a relaxing do-nothing day. It’s now after 9 pm, and I still have my pyjamas on from this morning. It has been what I would call an unproductive day, though I need to continually remind myself that doing nothing can also be constructive—particularly for me right now—given I’m supposed to be relaxing and taking things easy. It’s still taking some getting used to.
The weather was once again gorgeous, just touching ever-so-slightly on the bit-too-warm side at times. I commented to Lisa that people often hope to find weather like this whenever they travel somewhere on holiday. Although it’s terrific weather for me, it’s not helping the British drought situation. As of August, more than 70% of England is officially in drought following England’s driest July on record. Here in Wales, Natural Resources Wales has declared drought status across the entire country. I can readily see the effects of the drought in the withering hillsides and low river levels. Some riverbeds are completely dry, and those that are still flowing are doing so only at a trickle.
After breakfast, we all chilled out in the garden, gazing out across the fields and the hill in the distance. There’s something captivating about the view. John and Lisa are so lucky to have it right at their doorstep.
We killed time by playing word games and just generally chit-chatting, solving all the world’s problems. John and I played some more darts. Well, he played. I just hurled pointed things at the board, dodging the ones bouncing back at me and landing on my toes.
I had an impromptu chat with Jae via Messages. She has grown up so much in such a short space of time: I have to keep reminding myself she’s not a little girl anymore. As a caring parent, I’m finding it hard to let go of that image of my little girl who needs my protection and guidance. In many ways, she has turned things around, now providing me with protection and guidance. She really took me by surprise today by showing me just how mature she has become. She told me how stressed I have been and how I need this break. We had been contemplating a few days away as a family in October, but she let slip that the stress levels in the house spiked when I started sinking my teeth into the planning for it all. I haven’t shared with the kids all the details of everything that has been happening with me over the past few months, but it’s clear that hasn’t been necessary either. Something she quoted me today was, “Whenever your problems feel big, go somewhere you feel small.” Jae is so astute; she is across it all anyway. She’s already three steps ahead of me. I need to come to terms with that.
The current plan was for me to visit Dad again after finishing up with John and Lisa and then picking up a return ferry ticket back home. I’ve been giving some consideration to visiting South Ockendon as planned but then returning to Wales again for another week, effectively delaying my return by an additional week. John and Lisa are happy to have me (or maybe they are doing a really convincing job of faking it), and there really isn’t a compelling reason for me to be back home just yet. I do have a meeting scheduled with my neurologist the following week, but that’s all. Sandy seems keen for me to keep relaxing here and take advantage of the downtime for as long as possible. Well, what’s a chap to do?
I did have a therapy session planned for later, so I needed to spend some time preparing for that. Since I’ve been writing openly and honestly throughout my blogs over the past couple of weeks, I figured that made the blogs a gold mine of helpful information for the therapist. I’ve already provided them with the links, but I asked Claude to go through it all and summarise the relevant details for them anyway, which it did a really good job of doing.
The therapy session itself went well, and the therapist was indeed glad for the complementary information. As it turned out, he had already read several of my blogs. We spent the first 5-10 minutes chatting about them. I’m starting to get the impression he is seeing me for who I truly am. That really helps, as I’d hate for him to rely solely on those things I remember to share with him. It’’s the details that get subconsciously filtered out that often pack the biggest punch.
During the session, we dived into some of my issues, like my apparent compulsive need for organisation and preparedness, my need for control and how I’m always actively looking for things to do and be productive about. He gave me a curious exercise as homework. I’m to write a one-to-two-page obituary of myself—not about the here and now, but the legacy I would want to have left behind. As a writer, I love a challenge like this, so I will put my heart into it.
Later, back in the garden again, I gave further consideration to where I needed to be and when over the coming couple of weeks. The upshot was that I needed to be in South Ockendon for this coming Friday, 14th, to meet up with Carol and her extended family. Carol is one of about 80,000 relatives I have who all still live in South Ockendon (it may very well be more by now!). The brothers and sisters, all cousins of mine on my Dad’s side of the family, and their extended families, get together periodically. I will join them this time around. Carol has told them there will be a surprise visitor, but hasn’t revealed it’s me. I’m really looking forward to seeing them all again. One of the downsides to emigrating multiple times to the far distant corners of the planet is that I get to see relatives much less frequently than I would like. The last time I saw some of them was a few years ago when there was another gathering to celebrate the life of their childhood home, which was in the process of being sold following Uncle Dave’s passing. It was a lovely reunion, and I was privileged enough to be asked to say a few words at the time. That was Carol’s brother David’s doing. He remembered I was an author and asked if I wouldn’t mind quickly coming up with something to say. I only hope that my words about the memories the building was privy to over the years were a suitable response for that occasion. Several of the relatives present were moved to tears, so I think I did okay.
John finally put the whole chicken he picked up at the supermarket a few days ago into the air fryer and whipped us up another lovely meal. He’s still enjoying that new toy, and I’m certainly still enjoying his ongoing hospitality. I love John—he’s a lot of laughs, and we seem to be on the same wavelength.
We played some more cards—another round of Chase the Lady. Thanks to a lot of mental confusion—much of which was introduced by me, it must be said—it was a hilarious round of tomfoolery which we all thoroughly enjoyed.
After the round of cards, I initiated a video call with Sandy. I chuckled as the call was going through, mentioning to John and Lisa that Sandy is likely cursing at me right now for starting a video chat, as she hates doing those. No sooner had I got that explanation out, Sandy answered the call while shouting a barrage of her usual “Oh, flopping biscuits…”, which is her typical way of expressing irritation with me. The timing couldn’t have been more comedic if we scripted it.
Sandy, after calming down and seeing the funny side of it all, confirmed she and the kids were still all doing fine without me there. She was completely on board with the idea of a further delay to my return. That said, I did score an earful from her on not bringing my levodopa with me to start on the medication, so the neurologist could see how I was getting on with the new meds. Sandy is often happiest when she has some reason to complain about me, so I figure I was doing her a favour by offering myself as a target on the subject. Happy wife, happy life.
After the sun started setting, I spent some time at the laptop in the garden writing up my future obituary. That was a strange exercise, to say the least. I’ve never been dead before, so this was untrodden terrain for me as a writer. It didn’t take me nearly as long to write up as I had feared. I also tried to reach out to some more family members, just in case there were more opportunities to meet up with any of them while I’m still here. I’ll report back on that subject in a subsequent blog. I did chat briefly with Paul regarding the logistics of my visit to Dad’s place for a couple of days later this week, so that was good. I still need to decide about another visit to my little sister Jacky in Stevenage and then on to my brother Richard, still in rehabilitation following spine surgery, but I’ll tackle that closer to the time. Those are easily arranged.
Angelique, one of our good friends and, coincidentally, an avid reader of my blogs (“Hi, Angelique”), contacted me asking for my input regarding a CV she had been working on for Thirza, so we exchanged some notes on that. I’ve always had a soft spot for Thirza, so I was eager to offer whatever assistance I could.
While I’ve been sitting at the laptop this evening, I’ve also been chatting with some ex-colleagues from a previous employer. That was a nice treat, as I have fond memories of working with these people. We are likely going to organise a get-together sometime in September, so that’s something I will look forward to.
Well, there you have it. That was my “I did nothing” day.