Typically, if I start sleeping in a different bed, because I’ve stayed at a hotel or at someone else’s house, I wake up a little stiff. That usually lasts a couple of days until I acclimatise to the new mattress. This morning, however, I woke up fully refreshed and in comfort. JL and Jay’s bed was so comfortable—perfect for me.
I have been extremely well cared for all day today. JL and the entire family have been so welcoming, making me feel at home. I enjoyed Shredded Wheat for breakfast, which is another flashback to my youth. When I was growing up in South Ockendon, breakfast was only ever one of three things: Cornflakes, Weetabix, or Shredded Wheat. I don’t ever remember eating anything else in the mornings. Indeed, in my case, this was often a meal at any time of the day back then. My scrumptious Shreddies in a bowl of milk took me right back to my youth. That was until I started to eat it with a spoon from my shaking right hand. That instantly shot me forward again, making me feel like an old-aged pensioner unable to feed himself or keep his dribble off his chin. Oh well. You win some, and you lose some.
I did very little today, but that’s okay. I came here to simply spend some time with family. All I really had to do was sit and be a part of the everyday family life here—just try to blend in and absorb it all. As might be expected when a new face shows up in a household full of kids, it can take some children time to warm up and be themselves. Although that was certainly true here also, some of the kids were full of beans and more than happy to interact with me. And so it came to pass that I found myself on all fours, draped with a blanket, crawling—nay, hopping—back and forth on the living room floor playing ‘horsees’, much to the amusement of one young lady in particular. Both of us had an absolute whale of a time.
Hot on the heels of JL’s success yesterday interacting with Joey, she exchanged several more messages with him today. The two of them swapped photos of Beyblades and accessories. Joey even went out of his way to find a few things we can send over here soon, to help give them a kick-start with the hobby. Ordinarily, Joey would jealously hold onto every one of his toys or possessions, but he seemed uncharacteristically willing to part with a few things for JL. I’m really hoping we can keep this momentum going. It would be beyond amazing if Joey could establish and maintain a connection with his relatives here in the UK through Beyblades.
Once everyone was up and active, JL suggested we take a stroll down to the nearby coastline. It was at this point that it struck me exactly where we are. This house is a stone’s throw from a static caravan holiday park where Mum and Dad had a caravan of their own for many years. Sandy and I spent time on holiday in that caravan on several occasions. We even visited the St Osyth Priory just up the road. I passed it when I drove in yesterday and remember thinking it looked familiar. Now I know why. Each time I drove to that holiday park, I must have passed this house, and now, several decades later, my niece and her family live in it.
It took a bit of logistics to get 3 adults, 6 children, and 1 dog organised and down the street. JL pushed the pram with the baby, while Jay pulled the trolley, toting two of the smaller children. Everyone else walked. One of the older children walked the dog, though it was a large, powerful golden retriever, so at times it seemed more like the dog was walking the kids.
It was a brief ten-minute walk down to the coastline. I have to admit I struggled a little—especially with my lower legs and back. Parking myself on the sand was a considerable physical relief—more than it should have been. Just like in Wales, I am finding myself out of puff much sooner than I would expect. I really do need to discuss this with my GP upon my return to the Netherlands.
While the kids were happily playing on the beach for a few minutes, JL and I sat to relax and enjoy the sea air and view out onto the North Sea. The mouth of the Thames Estuary forms a little farther down the coastline here. Along the beachfront was a mishmash of properties, each with their own slice of beach immediately in front of them to call their own. Many of them were older, with some looking a little ramshackle. Whatever they lacked in upkeep and maintenance, they more than made up for with outstanding sea views. Point Clear, a spit of land that separates from the mainland just at the entrance of the River Colne, was but a few hundred metres from where we parked ourselves. This stretch of coast has the air of a place whose heyday is in the past, but the beaches along the Essex coastline always have a character of their own that transcends time. The tide was out, exposing a cluster of rocks. Across the body of water immediately before us was the coastline of Mersea Island. It’s only an island because of a narrow channel of water that encircles it. It’s roughly 18 km2. When Jay mentioned that it was Mersea we were looking at, I recalled to JL that I had spent a week there on a secondary school camping trip. I have vivid memories of that trip. Some are less pleasant than others (I was bullied quite a lot in secondary school), but I also specifically recall winning Camper of the Week and being awarded a bat-and-ball set.
Our jaunt down the beach was a brief one. After hobbling back to my feet, I felt I might just about manage the return journey to the house. I made it, but once again out of breath and in dire need of sitting down and allowing my aching lower back to once again recuperate. It was a fun trip, and well worth the effort.
When we lived in Florida, one of our neighbours a few doors away was a lovely couple with three kids, who I used to enjoy playing with. I was often referred to in our street back then as ‘the big kid’. Dr Carlos and his wife Kristy became very good friends of ours—among very few with whom we have kept in touch over the decades. We spent time with them during our Florida holiday last year.
Kristy just happens to be one of the avid readers of my daily holiday blogs, and she has also followed my progress on this trip, occasionally checking in with me to chat about my goings-on. She picked up on me writing about some of my health symptoms the other day and spoke to Dr Carlos about it. He called me today to chat about what has been happening with my mind and body, and to offer moral support and some practical advice. That will no doubt help me gain perspective when I discuss my situation with my own doctor and neurologist in the coming weeks.
We have benefitted from the good doctor’s expertise numerous times over the years—including helping me through Sandy’s traumatic birth with Joey, getting advice and even diagnostic input when we needed it while we were in the process of diagnosing Joey’s autism, and so on. Even to this day, decades after we left Florida, I still feel the warmth and love extended by Carlos and Kristy as they reach out across the Atlantic Ocean, vigilantly watching out for our best interests. You can’t buy that kind of friendship. It’s a rare thing to have, and I feel enormously privileged to have it.
The phone reception on the beach wasn’t good enough for a call, so I called Dr Carlos back once I had recovered from today’s beach walk. As usual, in addition to being his signature upbeat and positive self, Dr Carlos was a fantastic sounding board for me.
While I was happily chinwagging with Dr Carlos, Jay was cooking up a lovely dinner for the whole family, which was just scrumptious. For various reasons, my own family rarely finds itself all sitting at the dinner table together. In my book, you can never go far wrong with sausages, eggs, bacon and, in this instance, ‘tater tots’—just divine.
For the remainder of the afternoon and evening, I enjoyed doing a whole lot of nothing. At one point, I helped JL order some 3D printer filament from the Bambu Lab website and explained their bulk-order discounts.
JL and I chatted quite a bit this evening. It was a meaningful reconnection. This is precisely why I am here, so it felt like I struck gold. We clearly share a lot in common, not least of which are some of the challenges we have each faced in dealing with neurodivergent children and especially about being judged as parents. Nothing slices deeper than being judged unfairly as a parent, or having someone look down on you or your children, by people who aren’t willing or able to see beneath the surface. The subjects we explored were at times quite emotional for both of us. I broke into tears a couple of times. It’s so rare to encounter people who have been through what we have been through. For all the emotional turmoil of this evening, it has felt liberating to share some of my deepest and darkest thoughts with someone who truly ‘gets it’, because she has been there also and understands.
This trip has been about reconnecting not only with myself but also with as many family members as possible. It remains a deep chasm of despair for me to not be able to connect with all of my direct relatives. Reconnecting with JL and her family has been a most joyous bonus. As luck would have it, another one of my nieces is apparently visiting here tomorrow, so I will definitely hold off on departing so I can spend time with her as well.