For the past few days, I’ve been using Claude.ai, an AI chatbot I subscribe to, to help me with the overall structure of my blogs. All blog entries are still very much my own writing, but I’ve been getting guidance on whether I need to add a bit more detail here or there, or lean into a particular subject, more or less, etc. I’ve essentially revised my writing process to include an extra couple of steps: having the final draft reviewed by the AI and doing a final revision based on the feedback. When I fed Claude my latest draft of yesterday’s blog, it came back with some less-than-flattering input for me. If nothing else, this should prove to Sandy that the AI isn’t simply tickling my ego when it gives me positive or glowing feedback. It is, in fact, ruthlessly honest with me, which is precisely what I like and need as a writer. So, this morning, I spent some time on the extra steps in my blog-writing process to further refine the entry, resulting in what I ultimately uploaded. The final assessment was that my revised draft was lifted from a D to an A.
Sandy received verification that our close friends, Dave and Jennifer, were now on the road and heading to Orlando. That gave us about two hours to prepare for their arrival. By prepare, I mean tidy up the house a little, make sure their bedroom is ready, etc.
We last saw Dave and Jennifer around 7 years ago, when we spent 6 weeks in Florida as part of our emigration from Australia back to Europe. During that time, we all enjoyed a 5-night cruise from Fort Lauderdale to Grand Cayman and Jamaica. Like Carlos and Christy, Dave and Jennifer lived in the same East Hampton subdivision we moved into in Jacksonville, Florida. Dave and I worked together at CSX Technology. We all became close friends, often spending time at each other’s houses playing cards most weekends.
Joey and I were killing time on the Nintendo when Dave and Jennifer arrived. Everyone immediately launched into bear hugs. Dave made observations about the kids’ height and grown appearance. Jennifer still sported her characteristic long blond hair running down her back, and she wore that same infectious smile I remembered. Dave’s neatly manicured hair and beard, now slightly greyer than I remember, still captured his smile and character perfectly. Both had clearly aged only very slightly from what we remembered. We wasted little time, each diving into the details of what had happened to us all in the intervening 7 years since we last saw each other in person. They filled us in on the details of their children and now their grandchildren. Sandi, their youngest daughter, is heavily pregnant and due within the next couple of weeks, so Jennifer was clearly excited about this. For our part, we brought them up to speed on everything we had experienced with our kids over the past few years, including what had been happening with Joey, our experiences with the Dutch social welfare system, and Jae and her hair-and-nail study. Once the initial flurry of information exchange had taken place, it was as if the past few years hadn’t elapsed, and we settled into a comfortable and familiar chit-chat, like it was yesterday.
It was curious to see that Joey was near enough immediately comfortable with both Dave and Jennifer. He was chatty, engaged, laughing and bubbly. He showed our guests some of his newly acquired Beyblades, lightsabers and droids. Each time he brought out another lightsaber, he used it to mimic chopping off my head, which brought everyone to laughter. We rarely see this in Joey at these levels for this long. He can be upbeat at times, but that’s usually only for short bursts. For the rest of the afternoon and evening, you would have been hard-pressed to recognise any neurodivergence from him at all.
Dave has been dealing with the slow onset of dementia in recent years. We learned of this for the first time about a year ago when we had a video conference with them both. At the time, we barely noticed any change in Dave, and I’m pleased to say the difference is still only very slight. While catching up with Dave today, I noticed he repeated himself a few times, but otherwise, he’s still very much there, and still very much the Dave I remember.
For her part, Jennifer hasn’t changed at all. She’s still the bubbly, open book character we know and love. One of the many defining characteristics of the interplay among us was that I was often the butt of the jokes within the group. We slipped right back into that routine as if no time had elapsed, all having lots of fun with each other.
While catching up, we discussed dinner plans and tomorrow’s theme park plans. We had previously decided we’d visit EPCOT together, so I helped Jennifer order tickets for the two of them through the Disney website. She watched as I used the ChatGPT app on my iPhone to get details on where and how to order the required tickets. Jennifer was intrigued by this—amazed, even, evidently having no experience with chatbots. She expressed near disbelief at how easily I could determine what I needed to do. I used to explain various things about computers to Jennifer often when we lived close together way back when. I gleefully told her we must have a session at the computer together over the next day or two, so I could show her how it all works and how a chatbot like ChatGPT will help her in her daily life. I’m really looking forward to her unwrapping that little gift from me.
We already had plans for character dining at EPCOT tomorrow, and I previously revised our reservation from 4 to 6 people. That’s booked for 5 pm at the Garden Grill, a rotating restaurant in The Land Pavilion, in World Nature (formerly part of Future World). Once their tickets were booked, I was able to add them to our DAS passes so we could all stay together for any attractions we might visit.
With all the logistics out of the way, it wasn’t a difficult choice to select Chilli’s for our dinner plans. Dave and Jennifer laughed when recalling this as one of our favourite restaurants from our time in Jacksonville—along with Waffle House. We split into two cars (boys in one, girls in another) and drove the ten minutes over to the Champion’s Gate Chilli’s. We had a lovely time dining together. Conversations were happening between us all, crisscrossing the table. Much of the conversation centred around what was going on in our kids’ lives. Jae was explaining to Jennifer everything that was happening with her school and social life. I was filling Dave in regarding what has been happening with Joey over the past several years. It really was like no time had elapsed. All of us gorged on heaps of food. We left there thoroughly satiated.
Back home, Jae disappeared into her room for the evening. Sandy took Jennifer and Joey to grab a few provisions, while Dave and I chilled out by the pool, catching up some more. In spending that one-on-one time with Dave, I could see more clearly how his dementia was affecting him. He’s no longer able to drive, for example, and has found solace in his daily routine of mowing the lawn and keeping himself occupied now that he no longer works. Listening to him recount stories, getting lost mid-sentence and struggling to recall some of the details, it was clear he had deteriorated somewhat. Whenever Dave stalled, I helped him find the right word. He asked repeatedly whether I minded him telling the story, and I kept telling him to please continue. I wanted him to know I was not only listening, but also genuinely interested. It was at times a laboured conversation, but it didn’t matter. It was quality time together, which I felt was important.
I got the sense that the burden has shifted to Jennifer, who now has to take a more proactive role in caring for Dave. The challenges this inherently entails, along with the uncertainties about the future, will undoubtedly weigh heavily on Jennifer’s mind. I can relate to those uncertainties, as there is a parallel with us and our situation with Joey. More and more of our attention and thoughts for the future pivot around the ‘what happens to Joey if something were to happen to us?’ question. The same uncertainties Jennifer has regarding Dave’s future are mirrored in ours with Joey’s future. We discussed these parallels with them throughout the evening, which I suspect was just as therapeutic for Jennifer as it was for us.
Joey, uncharacteristically, stayed downstairs and spent much of the time interacting with us all once he and the women were back from the shops. It was a joy to see Joey experience such a prolonged period of happiness. Clearly, he has clicked with our good friends, which is terrific. I’m sure Dave and Jennifer must be wondering what all the fuss is about when we describe Joey’s normal behaviours to them. So far, they haven’t witnessed Joey’s typical neurodivergent and ofttimes challenging behaviours.
It’ll be interesting to see how the day at EPCOT progresses tomorrow. We had success there previously, so hopefully we’ll all enjoy ourselves there tomorrow also. Tonight, we picked up the thread of our friendship after seven years. Tomorrow we will continue to tug on that thread and let it wrap around us. Tomorrow won’t be as much about what we actually do, where we go, and what we will see. It will be more about simply being together and rejuvenating this friendship that has endured through the years.