NOTE: For the next several days, I’ve taken a break from my blog writing, so the following few blog entries, including this one, will be written well after the fact and will likely be less verbose and more summarised. We spent quality time with good friends in Saint Augustine and Jacksonville over the past Halloween weekend, and I wanted to devote all our time and energy to them without having to disappear for hours on end to write my blogs.
Sandy and I got up late this morning. At 20 and 19, Joey and Jae spend a lot of time in their rooms or sleeping—usually both. Since the kids were still cocooned away in their nests, we took the opportunity, as Sandy puts it, to escape. Sandy wanted to drive to one of the Orlando Vineland Premium Outlets, a mall about half an hour away from Davenport. Of the two children, although Jae is the youngest, she’s the most mature. Despite what we may think about what she gets up to as a teenager, which is a topic for another day, it’s true to say that Sandy and I both trust Jae implicitly. She’s a responsible teenager who has consistently demonstrated her maturity. Joey’s maturity is still developing, and, of course, he is autistic with anxiety issues as well as a low social/emotional capacity. Despite Jae having her own backpacks to carry, we were absolutely comfortable knowing Joey would be fine under his sister’s supervision for the duration.
Our decision to leave without telling the kids we were going was rooted in several key premises. Firstly, neither was awake, so there wasn’t an opportunity to do so. Secondly, over the past couple of years, we have been conditioning the kids to be at home alone more often—weaning them off their reliance on us and developing their independence. Thirdly, we knew they were safe and secure, and we expected to be back before too long anyway—possibly even before they awoke. We also weren’t going far, so we could be back at home quite quickly if necessary, and we are all in touch with each other via our mobile phones. We all have multiple, proven options to reach each other, whether it’s phone calls, Facebook, or WhatsApp messaging and calling. Lastly, and certainly no less importantly, we just needed a break and a sliver of alone time. Sometimes, the most effective stress relief valve is to remove yourself from the situation.
As is the case every time Sandy and I find ourselves without kids, it was a surreal experience not having to worry about or interact directly with the kids. With the various modern-day communications options, we are never truly out of contact with the kids. We exchanged numerous messages back and forth throughout the afternoon.
At the mall, Sandy was on the lookout for some gifts for people back home. She found these at Disney’s Character Warehouse, one of a couple of such outlets in the Orlando area, where older Disney merchandise can be purchased for a fraction of the original sticker price. T-shirts previously sold in the theme parks for upwards of $40 were priced at under $10, for example. Not everything was a huge bargain, and there was a lot of stuff that wasn’t interesting for us, but Sandy came out with several purchases, which made her happy. Happy wife, happy life, as the saying goes.
For my part, I picked up a few things from the Under Armour outlet. A few things were on special discount, which I took advantage of.
It was well into rush hour by the time we left. The satnav refused to consider a route involving I-4, which would have been a near-enough straight line back to Davenport. This typically means the road is closed, or so heavily congested that it would be a mistake to attempt to drive on it. Whatever the blockage, our route home was looking like it would take well over an hour. We stopped by a nearby Publix to try to sit some of the traffic out, since we had to pick up some provisions anyway. It didn’t put a dent in the return journey time. We crawled our way back to Davenport at a frustratingly slow walking speed for most of the journey.
By the time we got home, the kids must have been wondering why we had deserted them. As is often the case when we’re out of the house for more than thirty seconds, a flood of questions and interactions came out to us thick and fast as soon as we walked through the door; well, they were mainly directed to Sandy, if I’m honest. Like Joey, I tend to need a bit of quiet time to unwind after an event as traumatic as a trip to the shopping centre, so Sandy tends to take the brunt of the onslaught in these situations. Jae had helped to ensure Joey was fed while we were out. I know this because I caught some of the conversation Jae had with Sandy on the phone earlier in the afternoon. There was also other evidence, such as Joey not having succumbed to hunger—always a good sign. It was too late to do anything constructive, so we all just lounged around for a while until bedtime. The important thing was that everyone was still healthy and alive. Sandy and I managed to secure some alone time, largely thanks to Jae’s maturity and willingness to be there for us in times of need like this.