Perhaps like many other couples who have been married for several decades, Sandy and I have developed our own little way of communicating with each other—something that’s less direct than usual. There are subtleties and nuances at play, which may not be readily evident to the casual onlooker. Entire conversations could play out between us without the use of words at all, or piggybacked onto the words of an otherwise innocuous other conversation. One such communicative exchange that illustrates this took place this morning. It went something like this:
Sandy: “Chris, mumble, mumble, Jae, mumble, awake, mumble, not, mumble.”
So, I’m on my laptop at this moment, and, as is pretty typical, some of the words registered straight away, while others were in the auditorily received queue awaiting their turn to arrive at the acknowledged and understood section of my subconsciousness. Sandy is, of course, accustomed to such processing delays. However, there’s admittedly a very real possibility that parts of the message might trip on the erroneous data to be rejected and ignored traps littered throughout my subconscious. But anyway…
Me: “Ok, that’s fine, honey. You know, I think it would be a good idea that we left earlier for EPCOT today, rather than later.”
One of the many balls I’m juggling in my mind at this point is the certainty of the inevitable fact that regardless of what time we plan to leave, it’s going to end up being later. We are going to take more time getting organised and out of the house. There could be any number of reasons for this. Someone will inevitably leave something behind, forcing me back out of the car and into the house to retrieve it, etc. We have a lunch booking lined up at the Beer Garden in Germany, and if we leave later, we won’t have much time to do anything fun at the park before needing to head into the World Showcase area to make that reservation. That’s a long walk, which will reduce our fun factor in this heat.
Sandy: “Jae isn’t awake yet. You should go and wake her up.”
Ok, so it’s possible one or two words from that last sentence may have arrived in the understood part of my subconscious in the wrong order. It happens. I would later find out that the words were actually dispatched in this order:
Sandy: “Don’t wake up Jae yet. I told her she could sleep in this morning”
So as you can clearly see, this minor order jumbling is an easy mistake to make. I’m sure all the men reading this will completely understand. Similarly, I’m sure all the women reading this will be tutting, raising their eyebrows, and shaking their heads—all perfectly normal and well-understood physiological responses to standard male thinking patterns.
I go upstairs to wake up Jae, which I do so gently with a few quiet taps on her bedroom door—no more than 15-20 or so. There was no response initially. It took a few more taps before grunt-like sounds confirmed that life was still present. My work here was done, so I went back downstairs, having successfully ticked off one of the tasks assigned to me this morning. All’s well so far, and my parent-of-the-year award is still looking promising.
I parked myself back behind my laptop and grinned serenely at my wife. Her return expression, more of a stare, was slightly more challenging to read. This is also normal.
Jae arrived 5-10 minutes later, and not in the best of moods. I tried to be attune to her needs, showing that I cared, so I asked how she was. She mumbled something about sleep, loss, headache, tiredness, and…something or other.
Sandy, now glaring at me indignantly for some reason, simply shakes her head: “…”
Those of you who aren’t experienced spouses might not catch on, but those with a few decades of marriage under their belt might catch a glimpse of the second subtextual conversation that was playing out between Sandy and me in the exchange we had. I hope you spotted it. Maybe you’ll spot more as this holiday blog continues to unfold.
It was at this point that Joey emerged from his cocoon. He had been upstairs playing and came downstairs for something. Sandy asked him to please do a bit of tidying upstairs, as it looks like someone threw a grenade into a toy factory up there. Much to my surprise, he dutifully agreed and started going back upstairs again. Sensing an opportune moment to introduce a bit of levity into the morning atmosphere, I called out, “Of all our children, you are the very best Joey we have.” He stopped dead in his tracks mid-way up the stairs, slowly turned his head, and replied in a low monotone voice, “By extension, that means I’m also the worst.” This kind of flatlined, anhedonia apathy is very typical of Joey. He runs very hot and cold, and mostly cold. Sandy likes to believe Joey is being sarcastic as often as not. She may have a point. It’s really hard to tell most of the time.
We still had a few strips of the maple bacon (which we call macon), so I offered to cook them for Joey. I know this made him happy, as he slowly and barely perceptibly nodded when I asked if he’d like me to do so. An acknowledgement—of any kind, be it verbal or via body language—is typically an indication he’s in a good mood. It’s when he’s totally non-responsive that we have to watch out.
With everyone in a reasonably good mood, we set out for our first attempt at tackling EPCOT full on. We ran into no issues with the now familiar theme park entrance routine and strolled into the park with a stride in our steps. We wasted no time putting in our DAS return times for Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind, one of the newest rides. I was keen to try this since I first heard of its existence when I was researching this trip. To burn through some of the virtual queueing time, we headed straight over to one of Sandy’s favourite places in the whole universe—the Figment of Imagination attraction.
Figment was a walk-on, meaning there was no wait to speak of. The ride itself is pretty unassuming and relatively tame in compared to today’s theme park rides, showing its age. It’s a slow, dark ride that takes you through the five traditional senses. The truth is, it’s aimed at younger children, but we liked it all the same. Other than the frustratingly catchy One Little Spark tune playing throughout the ride, the real attraction for Sandy is the character of Figment, a purple dragon. Sandy has been enamoured with Figment ever since we first encountered him when we visited EPCOT for the very first time, back in the late 1980’s. A pilgrimage to see Figment has been part of our Orlando holiday rituals ever since.
The Figment ride put everyone into an even better mood, with the icing on the cake being the photo opportunity with Figmant himself in the shop at the ride’s exit. After everyone was photographed with the purple dragon, we wandered around the shop for a bit. Much to my amazement, Joey locked his focus onto a purple Figment hoodie, complete with horns and wings. Forcing my way through the sticker shock, and given this was the first article of clothing he has expressed any liking for, we decided he could have it. Not to be outdone, Jae also picked an identical one out for herself in her size. Sandy and I left the shop with a pair of newly emerged Figments.
For the remainder of the day, Joey insisted on wearing the sweater. Although the hood would have helped keep the blistering sun off his head, he must have been boiling underneath. Jae lasted just long enough to participate in another photo opportunity just outside the Figment building, but the heat forced her to remove it shortly thereafter.
Both Joey and Jae were interacting with each other very positively throughout the day. For her part, Jae was running hot and cold with me. Whether we are battling the heat, she can sometimes be a bit snappy with me. I’ve been exercising extreme restraint over the past week or so doing my best not to pull her up on this teenagerish type of behaviour—anything to preserve the peace. So far, that has been paying off dividends and has kept the two of us on an even keel.
I should take this opportunity to point out that Jae has indicated she would like to be included more frequently in my blogs. She would like to point out that she does have a sense of humour. #justiceforjaessarcasm #putmeintheblogs #tragicstory.
So, Sandy, me, Joey and the lippy teenager (#sarcasm #kevinfromharryenfield) wandered the short distance over to the new Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind attraction on the other side of the giant golf ball, that is Spaceship Earth. Just as we arrived at the lightning lane entrance to claim our DAS return time, the stream of people entering the building stalled. It didn’t stall for very long—just a few minutes—but that was long enough for it to mean that the queue tunnels to the attraction’s loading point were now full. It therefore took us over minutes of queueing to get to the rollercoaster cars. To add insult to that injury, some of the pre-show elements weren’t working. The awaiting crowd had to be directed through a side door to skip some of those.
The ride itself is fantastic. It’s a dark rollercoaster with just lap bars, so no inversions. Each 4-person car in the rollercoaster train spins or rotates a full 360°. The initial launch is backwards, and quite a fast one at that. Then, as the rollercoaster makes a turn, the cars individually turn into the turn, meaning that all the G-forces push you into the seat instead of side to side. The timing of these spins is so precise, it makes for an incredibly smooth and quite thrilling ride experience.
On our first attempt through Guardians, the group photo showed Sandy in a rather unfortunate pose. I’ll post it here and let you be the judge.
Back out into the streets of EPCOT, it wasn’t long before some random other guest approached Jae and complimented her on her outfit. In fact, this has happened repeatedly across several park visits. Jae keeps telling me that if I walked around in a dress, I’d get compliments, too. Somehow, I doubt it, though I’m sure it would make for an interesting social experiment. Jae’s response to compliments is a healthy and socially acceptable one. She typically smiles and thanks the person warmly. Joey, on the other hand, doesn’t really know how to handle complements. He tends to respond much less appropriately, with self-denigration or apathetic disinterest.
We set course for a spot of lunch while awaiting our DAS return time for Test Track. This attraction has just recently undergone a significant re-theming, so I was keen to see just how different it was. Both the lunch as well at Test Track were uninspiring affairs. The dining hall was at least a pleasant, cool environment, but Test Track was a lot joltier than I remembered it. The ride itself is still essentially the same. The only difference now is that the storyline and environment that the car passes through are new. It still culminates in a fast race around the outside track, but the deceleration at the end wasn’t smooth. Sandy complained the seatbelt was digging into her neck each time the car changed direction or speed. Nobody was keen to do the ride a second time, which I think speaks volumes.
Besides Figment, the one other thing Sandy was especially keen on doing was the character meet and greet. Here at EPCOT, that was Goofy, Mickey and Minnie. Fortunately, we didn’t have to wait very long for our DAS return time, and Joey was still being on his best behaviour—and still wearing that Figment sweater. Once again, Goofy was brilliant with Joey, bringing him up from neutral to happy to laughing in a matter of seconds. I continue to remain impressed by those cast members.
At this point, we split into pairs. Sandy took Jae for some retail therapy. I convinced Joey to go with me into Spaceship Earth for a spot of Dame Judy Dench. Joey was so disinterested, it was hard work keeping a happy disposition. However, I was on holiday, too, and I really wanted to do Spaceship Earth, so that’s what we did.
By popular demand, we all cycled back around again to meet up and do another sweep of Guardians. Once again, everyone thoroughly enjoyed it. As a bonus, all of the pre-show elements were fully functional, and the group ride photo showed Sandy in a much better pose this time around. Even Jae scored another compliment on her dress from a young 10-12-year-old girl wearing a Japanses kimono.
Over the past few months, I’ve had on-again-off-again problems with pain in my sides—specifically with my floating ribs. Because of the humidity, it can sometime feel like pushing your way through water when simply trying to walk outside in the heat, so it’s perhaps unsurprising I’ve been suffering with rib pain progressively throughout the day. It wasn’t yet slowing me down, but it was definitely giving me some cause for concern already.
By around 2-3 pm, we were all at the point where we felt we’d done enough of EPCOT for the time being. It wasn’t going away, and we could always come back either tonight or another time. Jae elected to grab an Uber back to the house. After mulling some options, such as heading over the Hollywood Studios, we landed on heading over to Disney Springs. Between the Disney and LEGO stores there, Joey would have plenty to keep his interest.
I had a vague recollection that the car park we needed was the Lime one. When we arrived at the Disney Springs area, the only multi-story car park signposted was called Orange. The satnav map also showed but a single P, so I figured maybe the car park has undergone a name change or something. I pulled into Orange. As the traffic was heavy, and all of the parking rows were indicating as being full, I grabbed the first vacant spot I came across, even though it was quite a distance from the exit into the shopping area. It turned out that the Lime garage was the next one over, and there were plenty more parking slots closer to the exit doors. In hindsight, I ended up parking in the worst possible slot, resulting in considerably more walking for all of us than was truly necessary.
It was extraordinarily busy at Disney Springs. It felt like standing room only on the walkways throughout the entire area. Although we often keep an eye on how full the children’s buckets are, I myself am not immune to the onslaught of sensory overload. My ribs were getting progressively more painful (I downed several Diclofenac pain killers once we parked) and I was starting to feel the effects of the day. Fortunately, we had Jae’s new walker with us, which Sandy was able to put to excellent use. By the time we were heading back to the car at the end of the evening, it was I who was using it out of necessity.
Our first port of call at Disney Springs was the World of Disney superstore. Joey scored the yellow slippers he first eyed at Magic Kingdom a few days ago.
If we thought the World of Disney store was busy—and it certainly was—the LEGO store was even worse. So much so that we had to queue up in a long line snaking around the building before we were even allowed in.
Once inside, Joey scored yet more LEGO sets and some custom-made figures. Unique to this store was a special section where you could design and build your own mini figure, with writing and images on either side. I sort of lost track after a while, but I’m sure we didn’t come out of there without spending at least $200 on new LEGO sets and merch.
By now, my body is reaching and beginning to surpass it’s physical limits. It was time to head back to the car. However, we weren’t yet done. Joey pointed out there’s still a particular mask that he has been saving for that can only be bought here at Disney Springs, so a slight detour into the Star Wars Galactic Outpost was in order. Pushing through my pain, impatience and steadily deteriorating mood, I put on a brave smile and off we set. Once again, Joey was able to eat into his future pocket money so that he could pick up the mask today, instead of waiting until Wednesday, when his next allowance payment is due. Once again, we erred on the side of being more flexible for Joey’s sake.
Back in the car, we made the call to swing by a Maccas on the way home, making the conscious decision to choose one farther away from all the happenings. The idea was to avoid crowds and unnecessarily expensive options closer to the Disney tourist areas. That was the right decision, but we still had to wait for countless Door Dash orders to be fulfilled before it was our turn to be served with our computer screen order. I actually had to go up to the counter to check to see whether they had forgotten us. Back home, just standing at the counter would be enough to attract someone’s attention. Here, I stood there for some minutes before I ended up opening my mouth to force the issue.
The Maccas wasn’t terribly good in the end (why am I never surprised?). Sandy called through to Jae to check to ensure she had eaten something already. She hadn’t, which precipitated a stop at our usual Waffle House to pick up something for her.
Back home, I stumbled eagerly into the shower to shave and wash the day’s grunge away. My pain-killers had by now kicked in, and I was left feeling human again.