A conscious decision I made early on, when I was planning this holiday, was to make it a lengthy one. One of the principal reasons for this was the foreknowledge that theme-park-trekking would be an arduous, energy-zapping activity. It’s a lot of fun, to be sure, but it’s also hard work. Consequently, trying to squeeze too much into a short space of time was never going to result in a relaxing time. The fact that we are allowed to visit some of the parks repeatedly means we are not pressed for time each morning. It doesn’t matter if we get up late, leave late, and only spend a partial day at the parks. There’s always the next visit to make up for it. That’s all true for everything except Epic Universe, for which we only have a single park visit paid for. If we want to repeat that park, we’ll have to fork out for it separately—doable if necessary, but not ideal.
We planned not to stop at a restaurant, like a Waffle House, for breakfast today. Instead, I whipped up a cooked breakfast for those who wanted it. That turned out to be everyone except Jae. The original idea was to be out of the door by 11 am, but we weren’t rolling until 12:30.
Universal’s Islands of Adventure was next up on our theme park visit schedule. We were quickly through the parking, security, and ticket-stiles routine with minimal fuss. As was the case yesterday, the park was scarcely populated today. Most rides had wait times of < 30 minutes in the regular queues.
We decided that the strategy for today would be to divide and conquer. Sandy wandered into the park with Joey, while Jae and I went off in our own direction. Much to my own frustration, which took every ounce of my self-control not to display outwardly, that direction turned out to be right into the nearest coffee shop, where we sat down for 10 minutes while Jae slowly worked her way through a piping hot coffee. After all, who needs a multi-billion-dollar entertainment theme park to slow you down when a perfectly mediocre cup of $6 coffee will do the same, right?
Jae and I meandered anticlockwise around the park, carefully and thoughtfully deciding between us what she wanted to go on. That turned out to be a couple of the more thrilling rides at the front of the park, including the holy-cow-this-is-intense Incredible Hulk rollercoaster, followed by the oh-crap-I-need-to-change-my-underwear Dr Doom’s Fearfall. If I thought those were bad, I was in for an even nastier shock when we reached the new VelociCoaster, located towards the back of the park. More about that in a moment.
We skipped a few things as Jae and I progressed around the park, like the water rides in Toon Lagoon. I was a little worried we’d get soaked and not have enough time to dry off before the next thrill rides up ahead. Although it is also a water ride, we chose to go on the Jurassic Park River Adventure. I use the word ‘we’ quite wrongly here. Jae was calling the shots between the two of us as far as what we were doing and what we weren’t. That was a conscious choice on my part, as I’d committed in my own mind at the outset to ceding control over to Jae for our choices today, though I stopped short of actually verbalising that to her. I figured it would empower her more to believe it was genuinely her choices that dictated our activities. Both of us received a thorough spraying with the ride’s final drop, but only on our heads, and we were soon dry in the sun.
At this point, we met up with Sandy and Joey. They had just done the new VelociCoaster ride. The text message Sandy had sent to Jae after they did that ride read ominously to me: something about being sure to grab the restraint and holding on to it for dear life.
Jae wanted to ride the new VelociCoaster with me. Despite descriptions of its intensity, expressed mainly through the medium of glazed eyes and tremors, Joey seemed keen on riding it again, so the three of us went over to join the Express Pass queue. As we went in, we were forewarned that the ride was experiencing some delays. It had already been stalled for 20 minutes, with no clear indication of when normal operations would resume. We went in anyway, trusting to luck that the delay would be short-lived. We ended up waiting another 15 minutes until the call came through that they were spinning things up again.
I have to say that VelociCoaster is hands-down the most thrilling rollercoaster I’ve ever been on. The Incredible Hulk was intense, but this was next-level—and then some. It must surely be a strong contender for the wildest rider anywhere in existence. It’s a high-speed ride, from the get-go, with a powerfully intense initial launch. Several more launches mid-way through the ride keep the thrills coming, as do the inversions—one of which is a barrel roll while screaming so close over the water across the lagoon in the centre of the park that you can practically scoop water as you go. When you’re not being forced back into your seat through intense G-forces, you’re clutching the lap restraints for dear life for fear of being flung into orbit. You catch that airtime several times throughout the ride, leaving you wondering how it’s even possible nobody is flung loose from the cars.
I staggered from the VelociCoaster ride in a near-catatonic state of relief that I was still alive and now sporting the same glazed eyes and tremors I had seen in Joey before. I needed to calm my nerves after that. The kids decided they wanted to go around and cheat death a second time, so I found Sandy in the Discovery Center. I felt sure that would result in some excuse not to join the kids. That turned out to be the decision to grab a late lunch, but I wanted to head to a neighbouring restaurant where the menu was more to my liking. Sandy sent Jae a message letting the kids know we were relocating to another spot, so they wouldn’t be concerned about not finding us where they left us. Making the move to that other restaurant later turned out to be a strategic error on my part.
The kids neglected to check their phones before returning. Jae revealed to Sandy that this left Joey in particular slightly panicked when they returned from the ride to find no one. This was all the impetus needed to send Joey into a foul mood. As is typical in such situations, we had to endure the fallout for the next hour or so. Jae and Joey eventually found us in the other restaurant, but Joey was giving us both the silent treatment. He refused to speak or answer any questions. After a couple of minutes, he even got up and relocated to a separate table to sit by himself in a huff. Sandy and I shrugged at each other. We both knew what the issue was, but we were also both tired, exhausted, and resigned to the fact that there wasn’t really anything we could do about it other than hope that he would come to his senses in time. For the rest of our lunch, we sat, mostly in quiet solitude, pondering just how long we’d have to deal with Joey’s mood this time. He eventually perked up again, having had some quiet time to recover.
The next attraction turned out to be one of the highlights of the entire family’s visit today. The Raptor Encounter proved to be a curious mix of fun and mild fear. A life-sized animatronic raptor, moving in a scarily lifelike way, was essentially a photo opportunity. It wasn’t entirely clear, but I strongly suspected that a cast member was operating its movements from within, giving the prehistoric creature a real mischievous character as it interacted with the larger-than-life handler. It brought all of us to tears of laughter as the handler narrated through an open mic to the queue of people lining up to have their turn photographed with the jittery dinosaur. The interactions between the narrator and the raptor with Joey were especially hilarious.
Sandy and Joey were first ushered into the photo spot, with the raptor photogenically positioned behind them so that the handler’s assistant could use our mobile phones to grab all the photos she could. The handler was talking directly to Blue, the raptor, while also trying to get Joey to tell him his name. “What’s your name?” he said, repeatedly, getting progressively louder, as though he hadn’t yet caught Joey’s attention. “Your name!?!” he repeated, again louder. In classic Joey style, he remained defiantly silent, smiling and now laughing at the slapstick scene playing out. Eventually, much to Joey’s now uncontrollable laughter, the handler was shouting into the mic like his life depended on it, “What’s your name?!” This, of course, caused Joey to find it even more hilarious. Eventually, the handler decided that Joey’s name was “No-name,” so he directed accordingly. “Ok, No-name, be very careful, as Blue get very confused when he sees people like you wearing red,” and so on. While Joey and Sandy were posing on demand, Blue was pushing his head through between their heads, moving side to side as though eyeing them. He even nibbled at Joey’s back and shoulder, sending Joey into even more fits of laughter.
The finale of this brilliant 2-minute little photography play acting scene was the handler moving in closer, crouching as though trying not to unintentionally scare Blue, while telling Joey and Sandy to get ready to move quickly, as Blue might otherwise be spooked. He ushered them forward by the hand, away from Blue. Just as he rushed them out of the way at the last possible second, the raptor lurched forward, snapping its jaws and moving its head side to side, though in a last-ditch effort to snap at the tourists. Again, this sent Joey into fits of laughter, as he casually walked out of the scene, to the narrator saying, “Ok, a brisk walk will have to do, then.”
Having survived the raptor, the kids wanted yet another chance to risk their lives on the VelociCoaster. For some inexplicable reason, I went in with them. When it came time to load into the roller coaster car, however, they struggled to get the safety light on my car to turn green. It just wasn’t latching without undue pressure on my ability to breathe—possibly because I had literally just eaten not thirty minutes ago. I’m sure it had everything to do with the eating that took place over the previous thirty minutes, rather than years. Either way, and despite my protesting that I had already ridden in this exact seat not half an hour ago, they pulled me out, and I lost out. Oh, damn. What a shame that was.
The next island of the park was Hogsmeade in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Joey wasn’t keen to spend any time there at all, not being a fan of Harry Potter. However, I was especially insistent on trying another new-to-us attraction there, which was Hagrid’s Magical Creatures Motorbike Adventure. Like VelociCoaster, this is a wildly popular attraction. The wait time for the regular entrance queue was showing as 2 hours—even though the park wasn’t otherwise busy today. Despite still being grumpy about this, Joey tagged along, and I think he even enjoyed the ride. It’s not quite as thrilling as VelociCoaster, but it’s long, fast and has repeated additional launches as you progress through the track.
With Hagrid’s now out of the way, I handed Jae the free wand we had scored with the $500 gift card from yesterday. Joey and I left Sandy and Jae to enjoy a butterbeer and get more of their Harry Potter on, while Joey and I took the Hogwarts Express train over to King’s Cross at Universal Studios. Joey tolerated more Harry Potter theming for the opportunity to do the Transformers ride again. We did make a detour into the How to Train Your Dragon shop first, where he picked up a pair of fluffy dragon slippers and another sword & shield set, so that helped with his disposition.
To wipe out the remaining meagre balance from the $500 gift card (that really didn’t take long, did it?), Joey picked up another Transformer toy at the ride exit shop before we made our way to the park exit.
It was almost 7 pm, and time for us all to meet up at the car. We got tantalisingly close to actually exiting the park before Joey spotted a barely perceptible moulding error on one of his new Transformers. Normal mortals would never have spotted it, but to Joey, this was a glaring problem that he couldn’t live with, so back into the park we slogged. Well, he sprinted, while I sluggishly limped on behind. Fortunately, they were happy to immediately swap out the offending boxed toy, and all was well again in the universe. The triumphant joy at this win sustained Joey for the rest of the night and right up to our arrival back home. He even tolerated a few window-shopping detours through the CityWalk shops on the way to the car.
Jae had a hankering for a meal at a Panda Express, so I dropped her and Sandy off to grab something to eat for them. Joey, of course, wasn’t keen on that idea, so it was a nearby Maccas for him.
Our divide-and-conquer strategy today was largely successful. Sandy and I often pull this trick out of our bags back home. Both our kids have special needs, which dictate that we make accommodations—one often more so than the other, but both require that we adjust our parenting accordingly, nonetheless. Managing these special needs is usually a tag-team sport for us. It has to be, as it can often be overwhelming for one or both of us to sustain the required energy to keep the peace, keep the wheels turning, or prevent meltdowns. We frequently find ourselves meeting up somewhere and swapping with each other, often to the tune of an exacerbated declaration of “This one is now yours!” That’s when the other realises one of us desperately needs a break, so a handoff is necessary. Sandy and I have become proficient team partners in this divide-and-conquer game. Separately, there’s only so much you can do. Together, we’re a team that’s considerably greater than the sum of its parts.